Of course...but maybe...

You know, you have your bad thoughts. Hopefully you do good things. Everybody has a competition in their brain of good thoughts and bad thoughts. Hopefully, the good thoughts win. For me, I always have both. I have, like, the thing I believe, the good thing– That’s the thing I believe– and then there’s this thing, and I don’t believe it, but it is there. It’s always this thing and then this thing. It’s become a category in my brain That I call, “of course… But maybe…” I’ll give you an example, OK? Like, of course children who have nut allergies need to be protected, of course. We have to segregate their food from nuts, Have their medication available at all times, and anybody who manufactures or serves food needs to be aware of deadly nut allergies, of course, but maybe… Maybe if touching a nut kills you, you’re supposed to die. Of course not. Of course not. Of course not. Jesus. I have a nephew who has that. I’d be devastated if something happened to him, but maybe… maybe if we all just do this for one year, we’re done with nut allergies forever. No. Of course not. Of course, if you’re fighting for your country and you get shot or hurt, it’s a terrible tragedy, of course, of course… But maybe… Maybe if you pick up a gun and go to another country and you get shot, it’s not that weird. Maybe if you get shot by the dude you were just shooting at, It’s a tiny bit your fault. Of course, of course slavery is the worst thing that ever happened. Listen, listen. You all clapped for dead kids with the nuts. For kids dying from nuts, you applauded, So you’re in this with me now. Do you understand? You don’t get to cherry-pick. Those kids did nothing to you. Of course, of course slavery is the worst thing that ever happened. Of course it is, every time it’s happened– Black people in America, Jews in Egypt. Every time a whole race of people has been enslaved, it’s a terrible, horrible thing, of course… But maybe… Maybe every incredible human achievement in history was done with slaves. Every single thing where you go, “how did they build those pyramids?” They just threw human death and suffering at them until they were finished. How did we traverse the nation with the railroad so quickly? We just threw Chinese people in caves and blew ’em up and didn’t give a shit what happened to them. There’s no end to what you can do when you don’t give a fuck about particular people. You can do anything. That’s where human greatness comes from, is that we’re shitty people, that we fuck others over. Even today, how do we have this amazing microtechnology? Because the factory where they’re making these, They jump off the fucking roof ’cause it’s a nightmare in there. You really have a choice. You can have candles and horses and be a little kinder to each other or let someone suffer immeasurably far away Just so you can leave a mean comment on YouTube while you’re taking a shit.

Louis CK